someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
