Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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