with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
