In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize