if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
