I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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