just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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