What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
