i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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