Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
