once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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