I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
