Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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