your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
