with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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