I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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