We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
