my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I could have mohawked her pubes.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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