Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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