bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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