Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
