His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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