Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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