he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Also, beer. Big fan.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
