so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
