the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
