If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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