so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I checked into jail on foursquare
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
