Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
