The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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