Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
