Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
