wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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