Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
