Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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