So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
