Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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