I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I will pee on everything he values.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
COCAINE IS GR8
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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