I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
