I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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