I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I think people are normalizing furries
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