i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Randomize
