i permit you to call me
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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