That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
