in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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