I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
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