You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
