Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
