LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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