Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
