I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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