I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
