I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
