He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
cat food counts as protein by the way
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
