hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
