When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
