why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
