There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
