that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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