Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
