So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
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