I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
